A Confession

Folks, I have a grave confession to make. The entire housing drop was all just an elaborate orchestration from us, the Bubble Bloggers.

What I am about to tell you now was never meant to be told. What you have here is an elaborate network of individuals who all gathered once under a vow of silence to change the minds of the masses. This may be the biggest conspiracy ever orchestrated, and we did it by harnessing the power of the internet.

It wasn't easy. We needed to make people think we were right, and we did that by changing the facts. To this end, the NAR was great because of the lack of information they let spread from the MLS. This let us hire a crack team of hackers to break into all the major statistical companies and change the figures. David Lereah would have been right about everything, but not after we had a chance to change the numbers. I think you'll find that if you search for David Lereah on Google, you'll find right at the top is the David Lereah watch. The guy that runs that blog says his name is David. It's really Antonio. For this blog, his mission was to track everything David Lereah said, then pay off the researchers, hack into statistical databases, or whatever else needed to be done to make the "facts" prove him to be wrong yet again. As far as we were concerned, he was the last voice of the NAR, and we needed to make him look like an idiot.

Back in 2005, we were called to action. This all began as a secret brotherhood, and our first order of business was to create a database like none other. We tracked who had second homes, and who was on an extended trip somewhere. Then, we placed For-Sale signs in front of their houses. This led to the plethora of stories and video shoots of whole neighborhoods littered with For-Sale signs. We also toured every city block on the weekends dropping "Open House" signs that (of course) didn't actually lead anywhere. When the president of the North County Association of Realtors called one of the many drops last year a "False Drop"... He was right. It was all our handywork.

In 2006, we launched many, many blogs, and began to home in on insignificant issues like affordability, rent vs mortgage comparisons, toxic mortgages, etc. This was all a clever distraction to draw people away from the concept of "Pride of Ownership" (Acronym: POO). We hid the studies that showed that POO had the potential to extend your life by 20 years, improve your sex drive, and make all your childhood friends jealous. It's not easy to convince people that they shouldn't think about POO. We did it with very clever ploys like telling people they really didn't own their house because they were 105% financed with a pay-option loan. It's hard to think of all the people who were deprived of POO because they listened to us.

Now in 2007, we have doubled our efforts by focusing in and making a big deal out of a lousy several hundred million dollars of insider sales in all the major mortgage companies and "sky rocketting" foreclosure rates that are still below the all time historical high.

A realtor who asked not to be identified* wanted to be quoted saying: "Thing is, I chose this profession to serve the people. I could have had a high paying job at Starbucks or Dunken Donuts and maybe got some use out of my GED. It's all these bubble bloggers who have turned people against us. These selfish people at the top who think that just because someone has a track record of being irresponsible with money that they shouldn't be able to borrow to buy a $750,000 house. The truth is, we were the good guys in all this...


Really."


* - but you all know him as Richard Head


(shown - left: It didn't take much persuasion to get access to the local Sandicor statistics databases)

(shown - right: Fluffy was used for the more.... direct approach)